Something to Think About

I recently served on a committee that was tasked with making a recommendation regarding a future course of action. Another individual who sat on that committee made a statement that a week later I still find very profound - (to paraphrase, since I didn't write it down exactly) As we ponder our recommendation, we need to acknowledge that our decision will have the potential to impact the lives of individuals.  This is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly.

This got me wondering how often do our elected or appointed officials take the time to consider the impact that their decisions or recommendations will have on the lives of the many individuals unknown to them and not just how a decision will benefit a few?  And more importantly, how often do each of us take the time to thoughtfully consider how our decisions will impact the lives of others?

Life on Facebook

In January on my family blog, I wrote of learning of life's tragedies through social media or main stream media in a post entitled Death, Facebook and Media.  At the time, that post generated comments from those who had been through that experience and the difficulties it created for them.  Let's be honest, there are some images we never want to see and have burned into our memories.

This month, I have experienced another side of this coin as a family drama has been playing out on Facebook.  I have often heard the euphemism "Don't air your dirty laundry in public."  Well my extended family's laundry has been waving for all to see.

Through this experience, we have watched family members brought to tears as individuals who are not even involved felt the need to comment.  We have seen the collateral damage of pain experienced by others who did not deserve or need this added burden.  We have seen statements made for the sole purpose of hurting a specific group or individual with no consideration beyond their own desire to cause pain.  Bridges of trust and support have been burned and will take a long time to rebuild, if ever.

Needless to say, it has been a rough month and as a result, family or not, our little home has chosen to "unfriend" those involved so that we no longer have to witness the "drama".  For my own part, as I tried to talk privately with the individual involved, I wish I had heeded the words of Thumper, "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say nothing at all."  I should have remembered that you cannot have an open discussion with an individual that does not want to listen.

Also this week, two other items were brought to my attention that are along these same lines.  A dear friend posted as her status how hard it was for her to constantly see posts of children and animals who have been harmed.  A comment was made that even though individuals are trying to create awareness, it does come to a point where you will block those images either by skimming over the posts of the individual or by actually blocking the individual.

The second instance was a post made on our City's Facebook page of an event our community had participated in.  It was meant to be a positive and informative post.  Unfortunately, one individual felt the need in multiple comments to recite all his perceived grievances with the City.  In reading his comments, I recognized how ill-informed the individual actually was.  I have been attending City Council meetings for several months now and have yet to see him there.  Maybe if he had taken the time to attend those meetings or to speak with a council member, mayor or City Administrator, his statements would have been more accurate.

Social Media as a whole is a great tool for reaching individuals, informing, reconnecting and helping us find common ground.  Whether on a personal level or a public level, there is a need to be respectful, thoughtful, and considerate of others.  If you are unwilling to say it to an individual directly, you should not post it online.

The Price

“What win I if I gain the thing I seek; a dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy? Who buys a minutes mirth to wail a week, or sells eternity to gain a toy? For one sweet grape, who would the vine destroy; or what fond beggar but to touch the crown when with the sceptor straight be strucken down.”
       ― William Shakespeare, The Rape of Lucrece

The first time I heard these words spoken, their power resonated in my very soul.  Each day we are asked to choose how will we behave.  Our decisions have consequences.

Most times, the individual bears the consequences of a decision. But as John Donne said, "No man is an island."  Just as a pebble cast into a pond will create ripples or a seed blown blown in the breeze can be the start of a field of flowers, so may our decisions have unknown results.

Often times, I have heard the argument that as human beings we are in control, that we are the best judge of the situation, that rules or laws are only there as suggestions or guidelines and are provided as a reference in our decision making process.  The match lit with disregard for current conditions, the picture posted online as a harmless joke, the private sale of a weapon to one who would not be able to purchase it otherwise, the driver weaving in and out of traffic above the posted speed limit or the attitude that 'if it is best for me then it is alright' is where this false thinking leads.

Governing bodies are asked to use their discernment to pass rules that will establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, promote general welfare, and secure liberty.  These same bodies rely on the knowledge, input and support of their constituents in the formation of these rules and in the upholding of the rules once established.  To not be involved in this process is a choice, to disregard the results of this process is a more serious choice.  The consequence of disregard of established rules is the pressure on governing bodies to make stricter rules, to increase punishment for violation of rules and to establish a system where violators will be held accountable.  Unfortunately, as rules become stricter, it becomes too easy for the innocent to accidentally fall victim in violating the same rules that were established to protect them.

This summer, I witnessed this process occur on a small scale.  Our daughters participated with a swim league designed to provide experience to those who want to improve their skills and compete at a recreational level.  The league was made up of seven teams within the tri-state area.  In past years, it has always been fun and light-hearted with jokes and cheers all around.  This year, a different attitude was taken by a couple of the coaches.  These coaches stated that to them, winning the end of season trophy was the most important thing and they would do whatever was necessary to win that trophy including disregard of the understood operating rules of the league.

By the end of the year, coaches were not speaking to each other, trust among teams had been lost, swimmers no longer wanted to participate, the league was split in two with one team unsure of where it will fit or be welcomed and a written set of rules that will need to be signed by each parent next year before their child can participate.  The real victims in this situation were the children.  Many were left discouraged, camaraderie between teams was lessened and options for improvement in skill were limited.  The decisions and actions of a few, impacted many for years to come.

Above all the laws that can be passed by man, Christ has provided us with the greatest laws:


And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Mark 12: 30-31


As a society the price we pay to insure domestic tranquility in all its forms and levels would be lessened if we would follow these two greatest laws or remember to heed the Golden Rule: Do unto other as you would have them do unto you.